It is important to note that there is such a thing as a toxic, or bad, Dom. Once good communication and trust are established, then the couple can explore and play. For information on these two dynamics, check out the articles on Dominants and submissives from Sofia Gray. The Dominant must trust that their submissive is being honest about limits and that they are communicating with the truth about their experiences, history, etc. The submissive must trust that their mental, emotional, and physical health are their Dominant’s priority. The extent of control is discussed and agreed upon between the two parties before any play time can happen.įor a power play relationship to exist, it needs several things. A Dominant will take control of the submissive. This is actually the cornerstone of this lifestyle. One of the biggest components of BDSM is that the relationship consists of a Dominant and a submissive. The Dominant then feels accepted, desired, and confident like the Master they are. When the submissive complies with the rules, the Dominant feels proud that he is able to have been given the gift of submission. By following rules that are set by the Dom, the submissive can relax and trust that they are taken care of. The desired outcome is to have a healthy relationship where you both feel safe, happy, and cared for. Two sides of the same coin that work together for the best desired outcome. Think detention for being late to school. Punishment is a consequence of breaking a set of rules that have been established. This is like going to the gym when you are training for a race of some sort. By definition discipline is to train to act in accordance with a specific set of rules. How are they different, you ask? Don’t they go hand in hand? Yes and no. One is discipline and the other is punishment. There are two different elements at play here. While the rules can be revisited and adjusted as the relationship progresses, there must be consequences when the rules are broken. One of the key components of this lifestyle is the rules. More often than not, punishment is used to train the submissive and correct behaviors to help the submissive become the best version of themselves. There are lots of reasons why punishment is part of the BDSM lifestyle. In fact, that may be their biggest attraction to the BDSM way of life. Some people like the idea of punishments. All are forms of punishment that a Dominant can use to punish their submissive.
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